Comparison

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Theodore Roosevelt

Our kids are constantly comparing with each other – the amount of food they have, how much money they have, the toys they have, length of show time, punishment received, rewards they get, etc. It drives me crazy! I think comparison is inherent with siblings. As kids, we desire fairness and equality but this problem often follows us all the way through adulthood. Comparison is a struggle for so many people and is a vicious cycle. There will always be more to accumulate and someone who has more than us. We will never feel content with our lives or ourselves if we are constantly comparing ourselves with others. We will never feel satisfied with who we are or what we have and void of a thankful heart. I’m not preaching this to anyone more than to myself! I struggle with comparison on a day to day basis. And I know first hand that there is nothing good that comes from comparison.

Our church recently started a sermon series focused on having an eternal perspective and this has made me even more aware of how silly comparison truly is when you look at it through an eternal lens. Comparison is all about this world and what we might obtain or become in this world. It is about desiring worldly stuff. It is a totally natural battle for all humans but is one that we must fight in order to find joy apart from things or circumstances. Comparison takes us away from the present moment and will rob us of any joy we might find in our own lives. It often results in judgment of ourselves and others. Comparison destroys relationships as it is often a source of resentment. It might make us feel good for a short time as we might feel “better” than someone else, but that is a fleeting feeling and a false sense of worth. And most importantly, it takes our eyes off Jesus and eternal things.

Yes, it’s good to be others’ focused, but not when it comes to comparing. Let’s not be so wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, what they have, or even what they think of us. Instead let’s turn our focus and energy inward and upward, examining our own hearts and focus, and determining if they line up with God’s desires for us!

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

(Lyrics from “Turn your eyes upon Jesus”)

What Consumes You?

Pastor Claude delivered a great sermon this week at New Life titled “Consumed by Christ.” The sermon was centered around Philippians 1:19-30.

Pastor Claude laid out several questions to ponder that have challenged me in the past and still do to this day and I wanted to share them with you.

If you, like me, are a believer in Christ and have committed your life to Him, these are essential and convicting questions we must consider.

Paul in Philippians 1:21 said, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

How would you will in the blank? “For me, to live is ____________.”

What consumes you? What motivates you to live each day, consumes your thoughts, time, and drives your priorities? What defines you? Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself – where does my true identity lie?

Do you really know Jesus today or do you just know stuff ABOUT Him? Do you really BELIEVE Him or just believe IN Him? Is your identity centered around Christ or something else of this world (success, notoriety, money, job, family, body, possessions, etc.)? These are challenging questions that every Christian needs to consider.

The worship team ended the service with this great song by Natalie Grant. I desire to live my life for Christ alone and to make Him the cornerstone of my identity and my life. I struggle to do this on a daily basis but it is my desire!

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied –
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine –
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – Bridges

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

Bridges

“Was it not you who dried up the sea, the waters of the great deep, who made a road in the depths of the sea so that the redeemed might cross over?” – Isaiah 51:10

For as long as people have been separated they have been trying to bridge the gap.  To get connected.  To come together.  Bridges are everywhere, but so are walls.  Whether you build a bridge or a wall depends on your purpose.  Do we want to let others in or keep them out?

The motivations to build a wall are fear, anger, and disappointment.  The motivations to build a bridge are the desire for intimacy, to give and receive love, and to have a friend.  Walls keep us apart; bridges bring us together.

The most important bridge in marriage is communication.  Words are the slabs of stone in the stream that get us over to the other side.  Listening is the bridge that draws our spouse over to us.  Whatever obstacle we may have in our marriages, it is communication that spans the gap.  Let the redeemed cross over to one another.

A marriage without walls is a marriage with bridges.  Walls artificially keep us apart, but to build a bridge is a most natural thing to do.

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – Let the Little Ones Go

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

Let the Little Ones Go

“A man’s wisdom give him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”   – Proverbs 19:11

In every marriage, each day produces many small offenses.  A great secret of successful marriage is learning to let the little ones go.  The more we judge every small infraction of our self-styled rules and regulations, the less room we will find for love and affection in our marriage.  We should laugh more and legislate less.

The above verse tells us that wisdom leads to patience.  To grow in our marriage we must grow in maturity and wisdom.  Each day we see and read of countless conflicts, most of which would never happen if people would let the little ones go.  Notice that the verse also says that “it is to his glory to overlook and offense” – the individual’s glory, not God’s glory.  This is a rare occasion when glory is ascribed to people.  That is how important this principle is to our Lord.

Focus on patiently loving and accepting your spouse for who they are and how God made them.  When the offenses happen throughout the day, look at them in context of the big picture, and let the little ones go.

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – Oneness

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

The Overarching Goal: Oneness

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”   Ephesians 5:31

oneness n. 1. The state ore quality of being one. 2. Uniqueness, singularity. 3. The condition of being undivided: wholeness. 4. Sameness of character. 5. Agreement: union.

Oneness captures in a single word the overarching goal of a marriage.  Oneness marks the summit of marital union.  It is the peak toward which we climb.  Oneness is a state of harmony in which the husband and wife lovingly meet each other’s needs and fulfill God’s purpose for their marriage.  Oneness means that through it all we’ll be one.

Unfortunately, after the honeymoon these poetic thoughts often get packed in the attic with all the unusable wedding gifts.  Noble ideas take a backseat to jobs, mortgage payments, starting a family, and busy calendars.  Why does the honeymoon end?  It ends because the self-sacrifices we are willing to make for our spouse cool off.  The prize is won.  There are other mountains to climb.  The routine is demanding.  The body is tired.  The difference between a great marriage and a poor marriage is the degree to which each partner is willing to meet the appropriate needs of the other.  The secret to oneness lies in the biblical command to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Jesus.  He is the ultimate example of self-denial and sacrifice, which are the requirements of true oneness.

When both the husband and wife are committed to sacrificially loving and serving the other, a fantastic oneness – as becoming one flesh – occurs.  Have you ever said (really said), “I will give up what I want to meet the needs of my life partner”?  When you try it, and mean it, you will experience the oneness that God intended.

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – Introvert or Extrovert

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

Introvert or Extrovert

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – John 13:34

Most people assume that the difference between introverts and extroverts is that extroverts love people and introverts don’t.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  There are many extroverts and introverts alike who don’t enjoy people much.  Likewise, introverts love people every bit as much as extroverts.

What is the difference then?  The difference between an introvert and extrovert is not a question of love but how we restore our energy.  Introverts find that people use up their energy and wear them out.  It isn’t for lack of love, but it is work to be around people.  Hence, they need time alone, away from the crowd.  Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from being with people (there are really very few pure extroverts).  They actually find that other people recharge their batteries while introverts find that people run their batteries down.

Whether alike or opposite, it is important to do two things.  First, recognize whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, and realize what your spouse is too.  If one of you is an introvert and the other an extrovert, you may be draining each others’ batteries without recharging them correctly  You could both be introverts but one of you needs to be around people more than the other.  Second, you must accept your spouse as he or she is.  You should discuss your differences and establish realistic guidelines for your schedules, social commitments, and time alone.

The only way to truly understand and love your spouse in this area is to talk it out.

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.

True Beauty…

Great reminder about what true beauty really is! It’s about so much more than just our outside appearance. What matters is that which lies deep within our hearts and souls.

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – Deep Frustrations

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

Deep Frustrations

“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” – Galatians 5:16

In the course of our lives all of us will go through several periods of deep, dark frustration. Not merely minor upsets over the day-to-day tasks of life, these periods represent landmark turning points of self-examination, redirection, and change. These periods often mark the borders between different phases of our lives. Some examples include: Adjusting to a new marriage or career. The stress of starting a family and raising children. Sending your first child off to college. Marrying off your daughter. Settling into an empty nest. Realizing your dream is not going to come true the way you planned. Learning you have a health problem that requires a change in lifestyle. Taking a parent into the home. Burying a parent.

Each of these frustrating times is an opportunity for retreat or advance in our relationship with one another. We can tackle our frustration in the Spirit or in our flesh. If we take on our problems in the flesh our natural urge will be to exclude our partner. They try to help, but we repel their advances. We will not let anyone in our agony. And by pushing them away, we hurt them too. The gap widens. The walls grow thicker. If, on the other hand, we deal with our frustrations in the Spirit, our desire will be to include our spouse in the totality of our pain. He or she will seek to listen to us, to draw us out, to build us up. Because we are in the Spirit we accept his or her loving concern. An almost mystical intimacy develops on the back of shared sorrows.

How do you handle your deep frustrations? Are you getting the best of them or are they getting the best of you? The next time waves of gloom wash over you, you can take your frustrations out on your partner or you can let her/him in on them. It’s your choice, but remember, this is the one who married you for better or for worse. So what if it’s a little worse just now?

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.

Less & More Challenge (Day 31): Less Coming In, More Contentment

During the month of October, I’m following along with Edie & Ruth on their 31 Days of Less & More Challenge. For each day in October they have written posts on areas in which to seek less & more (for example: Less Heartache, More Joy. Less Fear, More Courage, etc.). I’m excited about this challenge and invite you to follow along with me. See 31 Days of Less & More for a list of all posts.

October 31, 2013

Day 31: Less Coming In

Day 31: More Contentment

Challenge for today: Evaluate the current state of where you are in your life right now.  Ask yourself the hard questions.  Is my life still too full of the things that don’t matter?  Am I still letting in too much heartache, too much stress, and too much stuff?  Resolve right now to be intentional and purposeful with your heart and time and environment.  Choose to let in only that which adds joy and peace and contentment.

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – The Need to Be Right

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

The Need to Be Right

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” – Hebrews 3:13

One of the greater dynamics in human relationships is the need to be right.  This need to be right exists without regards to whether or not we actually are right.  The truth is not the issue – the issue is our pride.

Most people struggle to admit they are wrong.  Many of us would rather make our spouse mad than admit we are wrong.  Why are we so argumentative, so immovable?  The answer is the deceitfulness of sin.  It causes us to insist we are right even when we know we are wrong.  We love nothing more zealously than our own wisdom, feelings, judgment, and will.

Ask yourself: would you rather be right or righteous?  You will find that you sometimes cannot be both and you will have to choose one over the other.  If your quest to “prove your case” discourages and hurts your spouse, then you are sinning against them (even if you are, in fact, right about the issue!).  Yet we press harder until the other concedes and we have won the prized title of “Being Right”.  The price we pay for that title is emotional separation and loss of intimacy with our spouse.

When you feel the battle to be right approaching, ask yourself if it is worth the price.  If you really want to challenge and stretch yourself, concede the issue before it begins even if you truly believe you are right.  When faced with the choice to be right or righteous, choose righteousness.  With it, you choose to encourage your spouse and avoid sin’s deceitfulness.

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.