21 Day Detox – Looking Back

January 26, 2015

I wanted to take a moment to share with you some of what I learned from the detox and my plans for moving forward.

In case you missed the beginning, here are my posts leading up to the detox:

21 Day Detox – Starting January 1!
More on My “Why?” and The Mental Side
My Plan + Some Other Options
13 Steps to Success
Beyond Food
Final Preparations

I wrote a personal journal post for each of the 21 days but rather than post the links to each individual day here, you can go to enspirebalance.com and just type the day (i.e., Day 1) in the search box.

I also pinned lots of great recipes and some pertinent other info on my 21 Day Detox Pinterest Board.

I found each of the 13 Steps to Success important but I’d say most of all, it was absolutely necessary to plan ahead – not just for the beginning of the detox but also day to day meal planning. I did quite a bit of research, selected recipes and got ingredients I would need ahead of time. Then I would keep a running list of things to make so that I wouldn’t be scrambling at meal times. I also planned ahead for times when I was going to be away from the house at a meal time since it would have been hard to eat out on the detox.

I learned early on that I’d be more successful if I considered the food as fuel for my body and I had to think carefully about giving my body enough fuel and the right fuel. I tried not to focus so much on what I was cutting out but instead focus on all the good stuff I could eat. If I satisfied my hunger and cravings for sweets with great food there wouldn’t be room for the crap. Don’t get me wrong….I still wanted the crap, but I was satisfied by eating things like bananas, dates, and other fruits. I also had to make sure I ate enough. I tried to eat when I was hungry and eat a lot. I never counted calories and my plate was always full of great plant based options. I’m a very active person so without an ample amount of food I would have had zero energy. I mentioned this early on but I didn’t do this detox to lose weight. The scale was hidden for the entire detox. I did weigh myself after it was over and did end up losing 2 pounds but I think that’s pretty good considering I cut out a lot of calories by taking ice cream out of my diet. I’m going to wait three more weeks and will then get my cholesterol levels checked again. I wanted to give my body a little more time to adjust to the new way of eating. I’ve read a lot of literature lately saying that cholesterol levels aren’t the best determinant of risk for heart disease but I do have to pay extra for health insurance with my high numbers so for me it’s worth getting them down even if just for that reason.

I’d say the most positive change I’ve noticed was from cutting out caffeine. Before the detox I would drink a small cup of coffee in the morning and then about a cup of a mixture of coffee and a non-dairy based latte or iced coffee after lunch. I have dealt with anxiety and/or depression on and off for about 20 years and have always thought the anxious, jittery, spacey, and irritable feelings I’d have during the day were from that. I would also notice drops in my energy level in the late morning and late afternoon. I realized quickly after cutting out coffee that it was at the root of these feelings. I haven’t felt them since cutting it out! I don’t plan on going back to drinking coffee on a regular basis but will enjoy it every now and then.

I also noticed a decrease in muscle aches, fatigue and soreness while on the detox. I’m guessing inflammation was at the root of these feelings. I may have sub consciously ramped down my workouts since I wasn’t eating as much “bad” food but I think it was what I was eating before (sugar?, dairy?, etc.) that was causing the problems.

I found meal prep a little overwhelming at times because I made nearly everything from scratch. I’m already used to making a lot of things from scratch but this was even more. I could have simplified what I ate but I like variety and also like flavorful sauces and things like that so I tried lots of new recipes. A lot of people have told me they could never do this type of detox because of all the prep and while yes, it does require more prep than eating convenience foods, it is well worth the effort and can be simplified to fit any lifestyle.

This detox was so much more than a food thing for me. If you followed along with my personal journal posts, you know that this was very much a spiritual journey that challenged me to examine my dependencies on food and caffeine, my reliance on food as a source of comfort, and my tendency to turn to food when I’m stressed or anxious. I had to rely on God to help me along the way because there were several moments of frustration and irritability when I would have turned to my normal food outlets but couldn’t. I had many ups and downs spiritually throughout these three weeks and I have no doubt that the Lord used this time to grow me and bring to light several areas of weakness and several areas I needed to surrender to Him. This experience was very humbling and made me feel extremely vulnerable at times. I loved following along with the You Version Bible App’s 21 Day Reading Plan Streams in The Dessert and the daily readings from Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence.  It was amazing how each day I felt like God was speaking to me directly through these readings.

I’m so proud of Scott for completing the detox with me. He followed my plan except that he kept in chicken, turkey, and eggs. He loves to eat out and is gone a fair amount at lunch and sometimes dinner so he had to plan ahead for those times. He is hoping the detox will help him get back on track with his eating and he’s definitely off to a great start! He also lost 8 pounds along the way and did that by just eating real food – no calorie counting and no supplements. He’s been very busy with a few work projects so he hasn’t been working out but plans to get back on track with that soon too.

Here’s a pic of Scott and I on our date night to celebrate the end of the detox. This was the first time we ate out on the detox (other than the night at the very beginning when we went out with our small group but I didn’t order anything). My mom was here to watch the kids and it was so nice to get out! We ate at Northstar and then got a piece of cheesecake to bring home from the Cheesecake Factory. We both did ok with the dinner but the dessert was a little too much sugar, especially for Scott. I don’t think we went overboard but it was very sweet. It was the second time I had sugar so I seemed to handle it a little better. His tummy was not too happy :(. He says he’d rather have the little shake concoction we had during the detox – frozen bananas, almond milk or coconut almond milk, medjool dates, and a scoop or two of nut butter blended up to a smooth consistency.

I realized quickly after the detox that I haven’t lost my sweet tooth. It is definitely less intense and I realize I can satisfy it many times with fruit or other healthy options. Scott reminded me that I’ve had a sweet tooth for my entire life and my ice cream habit has been going strong for 20+ years so I couldn’t possibly expect to kick that kind of habit in 3 weeks. I at least feel good about the fact that I curbed the need to have ice cream in abundance every night.

I’ve had a hard time mentally letting myself feel like I’m done with the detox. I do need to let go of it in a sense because I need to give myself a little more freedom and flexibility (without feeling guilty that I’m “giving in”) but in general I’d like to stick to the same type of eating as I followed for the detox. I felt great while on it and it was in many ways just an extension of how I was already eating so I don’t want to just go back to my old habits.

Going forward, I plan to follow a mostly whole food plant based diet with as little processed food and sugar as I can. I am not banning sugar even though I know it’s not good for me. I like treats and I’ll try to make treats that use little or no refined sugar (using things like pure maple syrup, medjool dates, and bananas as sweeteners instead), but the fact is I’m still going to eat sugar and enjoy it (at least until I get even more convicted!). I’m going to try very hard, however, to avoid sugar in places it shouldn’t be – anything other than treats. Sugar is hidden everywhere and one needs a careful eye to spot it. So I’ll continue to avoid packaged items as much as possible and make what I can from scratch. I’d like to save my refined sugar intake for sweet treats. I’m also going to enjoy desserts that are in no way healthy (i.e. ice cream and cookies) but in smaller quantities. I think this is doable for me and will allow me to enjoy what I like with more awareness and control than I had before. The detox was a great way for me to get started off on the right foot toward these goals!

It will hurt.
It will take time.
It will require dedication.
It will require willpower.
You will need to make healthy decisions.
It requires sacrifice.
You will need to push your body to its max.
There will be temptation.
But, I promise you, when
you reach your goal, it’s
WORTH IT!
(Author Unknown)

Thank you so much for following along with me on this incredible journey!

21 Day Detox – First Sugar Post Detox

January 23, 2015

I woke up yesterday feeling a little strange. It felt good to be officially done with the detox but also a little sad because it was fun to have the challenge. I didn’t want to jump right back into eating sugar like I was eating before but I was feeling like I wanted to have something small. C and I put the Paleo Chunky Monkey “Ice Cream” that we mixed up the day before into the ice cream maker first thing. We enjoyed a small taste once it was the consistency of soft serve ice cream. The base of the mix was allowed on my detox but not the chocolate, so I had a few bits of the dark chocolate and it tasted great. Once we put the container in the freezer it got pretty hard and is a bit difficult to scoop out unless you let it sit out for a while first.

I have to make a snack / treat for E’s basketball game tomorrow and a snack for our small group meeting on Sunday so I went ahead and made these The Infamous Neiman Marcus Cookies. The recipe is in no way detox friendly. LOL! I doubled the batch because I needed to make a lot. I put raisins and chocolate chips in half the dough for the basketball team and chocolate chips and chopped pieces of a giant Krackel bar we had in the cupboard in the other half for our small group. Since I doubled the recipe it was a ton of dough and my stand mixer was barely able to handle it! I didn’t eat any of the dough until I started baking and then I picked out a few of the chocolate chips. They tasted really good but my tummy wasn’t too happy :(.

I got an email from Graeter’s yesterday advertising a special on a small selection of pints that they had overstocked. I really like Graeter’s ice cream even though it is very rich and expensive compared to store or national brands. I decided to stop in to get two pints on my way home from teaching last night because I figured it’d be a good ice cream to have has my first post detox. And my mom is visiting and she loves Graeter’s too :). I got Peppermint Stick and Vanilla Gelato with Chocolate Truffles. After dinner I ended up eating one the cookies I made earlier (and thoroughly enjoyed it!) and then had the dish of ice cream pictured below a little later. It was a very modest sized portion compared to my normal (which would have been filled to the brim and maybe even a little more). I enjoyed it but definitely had a hard time imagining eating a whole bowl full. I had a little stomach ache shortly after but I’m not sure if that was the ice cream or the beans that we had with dinner. I also slept very restlessly. I had lots of dreams and was tossing and turning all night.

I’m definitely planning to have ice cream on occasion but I don’t plan to have it nearly as often as I used to. I know for sure I didn’t lose my taste for sweet treats though! I really just want to keep my consumption of sugar under control and not get back to habitually eating it like I did before. Not only do I feel better physically but I also feel better mentally not eating it so often.

I’ll be back with a more in-depth recap of the detox soon 🙂 Happy weekend!!

21 Day Detox – Day 21

January 21,  2015

Woo-hoo!! Only a few more hours and I will have made it 21 days on this detox and 21 days without ice cream. If you would ask anyone who is close to me I’d venture to say they would say they’re surprised I did it. Within the next few days, I’ll be posting a celebratory recap of the 21 days and some of the things I’ve learned on the journey.

The Vitamix was going strong this morning! I used it to make two smoothies, nut butter (I used raw almonds, cashews, and brazil nuts that I soaked, dehydrated and then roasted with a little coconut oil and Real Salt), and the mix for this Paleo Chunky Monkey “Ice Cream” (I used three medjool dates instead of the honey and vanilla extract instead of the almond extract). Tomorrow, I’m going to put the mixture in my ice cream maker with some pieces of the dark chocolate I got at Meijer yesterday. It will be my celebratory treat :). Don’t worry….I’ll be getting the real thing very soon.

I also made another batch of these Paleo Banana Muffins. Each time I make these I change up the recipe. This time I added a can of pumpkin, a large handful of shredded zucchini, raisins, and a mixture of grains I had frozen into muffin size portions that included quinoa, farro, and steel cut oats.

My lunch was a bed of chopped spinach and arugula topped with roasted parsnips, sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts, and eggplant. I then added a handful of sunflower sprouts (that I made this weekend), and a saute of garlic, onion, broccoli, cauliflower, yellow bell peppers, zucchini and mushrooms. I sprinkled a little nutritional yeast all over the salad and ate it with some yellow squash hummus, avocado, and salsa on the side. It was fabulous and beautiful to look at I might say! C kept asking me for bites and of course I happily obliged considering I’d love her to eat this type of thing on a regular basis. Normally if it’s on my plate she wants it but if I were to fill her plate with the exact same thing she’d balk at it. Scott was out of town for the day so I had leftover soup with the addition of quinoa for dinner and I made the kids chicken pizzas on homemade whole wheat flatbreads we had from the freezer. It’s a great recipe even though it doesn’t fit into the detox. I make adjustments to the recipe each time and they always seem to turn out just fine.

My precious kitchen helper wasn’t feeling well this morning. She woke up with what seemed to be a stomach bug and slept for about 2 hours out in the kitchen while I worked. I couldn’t believe she didn’t flinch when I blended the nut butter. It sounds a bit like a jet engine. She was all back to normal by 11. In fact she was in the best mood she’s been in for a long, long time. Craziest thing! Notice the baby in the picture. She bought it last night with money she’s saved in her money jar. She is so happy with her purchase. If only it were the real thing…

“Maybe the journey
isn’t so much about
becoming anything.
Maybe it’s about
un-becoming everything
that isn’t really you
so you can be who you
were meant to be
in the first place.”
Author Unknown

Thank you Lord for this journey. Thank you for walking ahead of me, by my side, behind me and carrying me when I needed it. Thank you for these encouraging words from today’s devotional in Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling: Finding Peace in His Presence:

“I want you to be all mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone – not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: the everlasting arms. So don’t be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to Me. I am always before you, beckoning you on – one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving Presence.” (Based on Deuteronomy 33:27 and Romans 8:39)

Signing off for now. I’ll be back soon!

21 Day Detox – Day 20

January 20,  2015

Today has felt like a long day. I’ve been mentally and physically exhausted. I think I’m just ready for this detox to be done. It’s been such a great experience for me but I’m ready for the end. I’m not sure my diet will change all that much other than having a little more flexibility but I think it will feel different because I won’t be on an official plan. I took the kids to Meijer tonight so they could spend some of the money they’ve been saving and I went ahead and got two dark chocolate bars. I read the ingredients carefully to get the cleanest ones I could find. Of course they both have sugar but they are 85% dark and have under five ingredients. I’ll be breaking into those in the next few days :).

One of my students this morning was telling me about a 3 day juice cleanse she completed earlier this month. She said it was the hardest thing she’s ever done. I’ve never really considered a juice cleanse but it sounds interesting and very challenging. Maybe next time. If there is a next time….

I made this 10-Spice Vegetable Soup for dinner. I followed the recipe other than I used a combo of cashews and peanuts for the cream and used coconut oil instead of olive oil for sauteing the vegetables. I took a portion out for myself and then added ground turkey to the rest. We ate some of the soup for dinner tonight and the rest I’ll be giving to some family friends for their dinner tomorrow. The mom is pregnant and having some health issues so it will be a nice treat for her.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. My last official day. Dear Lord, give me strength for the day ahead. You have been with me all along this journey and I’m confident I couldn’t have done it without you. Your grace has been sufficient and you have given me strength when I’ve felt weak and tempted. I give you all praise and thanks!

21 Day Detox – Day 19

January 19,  2015

We thoroughly enjoyed our time with our friends this weekend. My friend and I are like two peas in a pod in so many ways. We each have our own quirky habits and routines but we are so comfortable with one another that we don’t even care.  Most guests would have had a hard time being here while we were doing this detox but it was no big deal for her. It was great to spend quality time together in person.

We ate leftovers and quick meals all weekend so I didn’t end up cooking a real meal at all. It was nice to have a little break from more time intensive cooking but of course I still spent a lot of time in the kitchen preparing meals and snacks. It seems the kids are always hungry! I used my Vitamix a lot to make smoothies because they are such a great way to get nutrients in easily and quickly (for myself and the kids).

Only a few days to go and I’ve definitely had treats on the brain. We had an employee party at the Y last night and they had cookies that looked so good. I almost saved one for Thursday but decided against it. I’m definitely not going to go crazy when this is done but I am going to have something small for sure. I’ve also been pinning lots of yummy sounding desserts that are made with healthier ingredients. I’m sure it doesn’t help me to be looking at all that!

Tonight for dinner I made these Crash Potatoes with some of both red and sweet potatoes. If you’ve never made this recipe, try it out! I love the way the skin gets all crispy. I seasoned them with garlic powder, sea salt, and pepper. I had the potatoes with half a black bean sweet potato burger, roasted zucchini, and sauteed onion and garlic on a bed of greens. I made this recipe for Almond Parmesan Crusted Chicken Tenders for the rest of the family. I used half almond meal and half cashew meal and replaced the parmesan with nutritional yeast since Scott isn’t eating cheese. They liked it other than the fact that I overcooked the chicken.

I did a lot of yelling again this weekend and this afternoon. We have a pretty small house so all the energy with the kids running around (especially the boys!) put me a bit on edge. I am still feeling very emotional and I get so mad at myself when I yell. I need to work on not letting my emotions get the best of me. I recognize my need for control so much in how I respond to the kids and it’s frustrating to me. Tomorrow is a new day…praise God!

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:13

21 Day Detox – Day 18

January 18,  2015

Today’s been a mentally and emotionally challenging day for me…..one of those days when I would have turned to food for comfort before the detox. I’ve been struggling with trusting God in an area of my life that I have wanted to control for so long but He keeps reminding me that it is not in my hands. I have been on an emotional roller coaster and it’s exhausting. I’m almost to the end of this detox journey and I feel like it has been a necessary stop along the journey God is taking me right now. I’m so thankful for His presence with me each day.

Today’s reading in Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence couldn’t have fit more perfectly:

“I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow-covered peaks glistening in brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to Me.

Learn to trust Me when things go “wrong.” Disruptions to your routine highlight your dependence on Me. Trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweigh them all. Walk hand in hand with Me through this day. I have lovingly planned every inch of the way. Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and steep. Breathe deep draughts of My Presence, and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!” (Based on John 21:19, 2 Corinthians 4:17, Habbakkuk 3:19)

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:17

Lord, I know you have me on the path I should go but it is hard not to be able to see where I am going. I want to get there fast and on my schedule. Help me to avoid the temptation to take shortcuts or circumvent your directions. Stay close to me, dear Lord, hold me tight and lead the way.

On a much lighter note…here’s a pic of the sunflower seeds I’m sprouting. I was so excited to see sprouts late last night that I ate some this morning already. I’m going to keep it going for at least another day before I eat the rest.

We’ll be saying goodbye to our friends tomorrow before they travel back to their new home. We are enjoying our last night with them and savoring the moments we’ve shared together.

And lastly, one of my favorite songs. If you’ve never heard it, check it out on Spotify or You Tube.

Lord, I Need You
by Matt Maher

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You’re my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

21 Day Detox – Day 17

January 17,  2015

I taught this morning and then our friends arrived shortly after I got home. The kids were so excited to have their buddies here after several months of not seeing them. They’ve been bugging me for days about when they’d be here. It has been so fun for my friend and I to be together again and especially for us to catch up in person. I’m not much of a phone talker and I get lazy with texting so there’s a lot to tell each other. My kids were especially excited about having their friends sleep in their rooms. C has slept in her cousin’s room but this is her first overnight guest in her own room. I hope it goes well! Our bedroom is next door so if anyone calls out in the middle of the night I’ll be the one responding to the call (Scott never seems to hear them…or at least that what he claims :).

I didn’t make any new recipes tonight and we just had leftovers and some additional veggies for dinner. While the kids watched a movie my friend and I got out for a bit to go to a health food store for a few things I needed to pick up.

This verse has been on my bathroom mirror for the past year and has given me hope recently in areas unrelated to the detox:

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait patiently for the salvation of the Lord.” Lamentations 3:22-26

Lord, may my hope be found in You. Your compassion and concern for me is unfailing and is new every morning. I will wait for You even if I struggle in the waiting.

21 Day Detox – Day 16

January 16,  2015

I got home a little while ago from spending some kid-free time with a special friend. We were planning to meet at a coffee shop but it was closed so we went to UDF (her idea but I was ok with it). It wasn’t even tempting to me and I can’t believe I’ve gotten to that place. It’s not that I wouldn’t eat the ice cream if I could, but I was ok with not having it. It was so nice to have some adult conversation for a longer period of time.

I was busy in the kitchen today making another batch of Mark Bittman’s All-Purpose Tomato Sauce from his book VB6, making another batch of Salsa Picante, washing much of the produce we bought at the grocery store, spiralizing some veggies, making lunch and dinner, and a few other small projects. C helped me a bit with the chopping and spiralizing then she got busy coloring and painting. She finished her first paint project and I put it on the floor next to my chair to dry. Sadly, I stepped on it while it was still wet so I made a nice mess of acrylic paint on the bottom of my foot.

Many people have asked me “what do you eat?” since there is so much that I have eliminated during this detox. Believe me, there is a lot I can still eat. My answer is usually “a lot of fresh produce” and some other things too of course. Below is a pic of most of the groceries we brought home today from the store. I was at a few other stores earlier this week too so this isn’t everything we’ll eat for the next week but it at least gives you a good idea of what we go through each week. I have eaten lots of produce for a while but now that Scott’s ramped up the amount he eats I can’t seem to keep up! Here’s a rundown of some of what we ate last week: 6 zucchini, 6 bell peppers, 2 heads of cauliflower, 2 bags of broccoli (a few crowns in each bag), 1 butternut squash, 1 large eggplant, several sweet potatoes, loads of apples, probably about 30 bananas, more than a half dozen onions, a bag of celery, lots of spinach and kale, and much more. We were out of many things by this morning so I needed to get to the store before lunch. I like grocery shopping but I really don’t care for the unloading, washing and prepping part. My hands are already a dry, cracking mess so they only get worse on days like this.  I got sprouting jars for Christmas and tried sprouting sunflower seeds last week with no luck. I realized after reading more about sprouting online that I hadn’t properly followed the directions so this is my second attempt. I’ll let you know how it goes. It should take a few days before I see sprouts.

I picked up a large bag of yellow squash at Kroger that was on manager’s special and didn’t have a plan for what I was going to do with it. After looking around on Pinterest I decided to make this Best Ever Zucchini Hummus. I eyeballed most of the ingredients instead of measuring but for sure, I made the following changes: used less oil, less lemon juice, less tahini, less salt, and added nutritional yeast, and hemp hearts. I also threw in a few extra squash because the hummus seemed very thin. I think the squash I used was a little smaller than medium sized. It was still thinner than normal hummus even after adding the extra squash but it is very tasty!! I’ll probably use it as a sauce for veggies.

For dinner tonight I made this Skinny Buffalo Chicken Chili (thanks Andrea for suggesting the recipe). I made the ground meat in a separate pan so that I could have some of the chili. I got myself a bowl and then added the meat in for the rest of the family. I used homemade vegetable broth that I had stored from last week and pinto beans that I froze this past weekend. I went ahead and used a generic hot sauce that contained no sugar and just a few ingredients. I thought my homemade hot sauce would make it a bit too spicy for everyone to enjoy. I put a little cheese on top of the kids chili but Scott and I had it plain. It was spicy but everyone loved it. Buffalo chicken dip is one of Scott’s favorites so this was a nice reminder of those flavors.

In the midst of being a stay at home mom and parenting young children, my life can often feel insignificant. The every day tasks can begin to blur and make me feel like I’m doing nothing more in this life than just keeping it going and keeping the kids fed, clothed and bathed (which my mom would argue not nearly often enough). We all have a desire in our hearts to make an impact. To be important. To be needed. But let’s not get wrapped up in trying to be something big that we forget to live in and through the small things. I was encouraged by these excerpts from today’s devotional in the You Version Streams in the Desert Bible Reading Plan by George Matheson.

“Be willing to be only a voice that is heard but not seen…..Be willing to be a breeze that arises just before daylight, saying, “The dawn! The dawn!” and then fades away.”

“Do the most everyday and insignificant tasks knowing that God can see. If you live with difficult people, win them over through love. If you once made a great mistake in life, do not allow it to cloud the rest of your heart, make it yield strength and character.”

“We are doing more good than we know. The things we do today – sowing seeds or sharing simple truths of Christ – people will someday refer to as the first things that prompted them to think of Him.”

Lord, help me to worry less about being someone great or about accomplishing big things all the while missing the small moments and opportunities. Help me to focus on the small seeds I can plant, letting You take care of the rest. Great and big things may be part of Your will but may that not be my sole focus.

 

P.S. We will have visitors tomorrow through Monday so I’m not planning on spending much time on my computer but I at least plan to pop in for a quick update each day 🙂

21 Day Detox – Day 15

January 15,  2015

Two weeks down, one week to go! Looking back over the last two weeks I think overall this has been much easier than I expected. I’ve had challenges of course but not to the extent that I expected.

I taught at the Y tonight just before dinner time so we had leftovers when we got home. We still had chili, vegan lasagna, and Kung Pao Chicken for everyone to choose from. I went with the vegan lasagna and it was even more delicious than the other two times. I will definitely be making that again. I’ll cook again tomorrow but I’m not yet sure what it will be!

I feel really good both physically and mentally right now. My mind continues to be clear and I have not felt the anxiety I would feel when drinking coffee and eating sugar. It is so nice to not feel like that! I use essential oils to help with anxiety and focus but haven’t had to use them nearly as much. It’s probably a good idea that I just use them all the time no matter what but I normally grab them when I’m really feeling the symptoms. I haven’t had as much muscle soreness as I normally do either. I don’t know if it’s something that I cut out that was causing inflammation or if it’s the fact that I’m eating more bananas.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles about sugar and inflammation. I always knew refined sugar was not good for me but I didn’t realize the direct link between sugar and many diseases and illnesses. With this knowledge in mind, I get even more mad at the food industry for loading so much of our food with unnecessary sugar – especially the food that you don’t expect it to be in. Of course when you are eating a treat you expect there to be sugar, but pretty much any packaged sauce, salsa, dressing, broth, etc. has added sugar. A lot of times you can’t taste it….but it’s there! We all need to be more vigilant about reading labels very carefully and knowing all the different names that are disguises for sugar. Many packaged/processed foods contain several forms of sugar but unless we know the names of the different forms we will have no idea it’s actually sugar. The shorter the list of ingredients the better! And try to eat food with only ingredients you recognize. Does this mean I’ll never eat sugar again? No. I’m not committing to that at this point. But, I will be eating sugar with a better informed mind.

One of my best friends is coming into town with her two kids this weekend and we are so excited! They moved to Kentucky in October and it is so different without her here to hang out with every week. It was a huge life change for them (and for us!) and has taken time for them to get settled into their new home and life there. Change is hard….

I’m not really a person who likes change. I like routine, things to be in their place, comfort, normalcy, and the status quo (as long as the status quo is good of course). Because I like to feel as if I’m in control, change throws me off balance. In times of change, I often feel stressed, overwhelmed and completely out of control. I know change is good but it is hard for me. This detox has been a big change for me in several ways. I knew this at the start and that’s why I drug my feet for so long before I actually decided I was really going to do it. I used to have a small dish of ice cream after lunch and another larger dish at night. I was able to break the lunch time habit more than a year ago but still had the night time habit and the habit of having coffee during the kids nap/rest time. These aren’t “evil” in and of themselves, but I needed to make a change and break the habits because they were negatively impacting my health and mood. These diet changes, however, are minute in comparison to the major changes one might experience from a life altering event like an injury, loss or death. No matter how big or small a change might be, we all struggle to adapt at times and often wish things would just stay the same forever. We all know of course that everything in life changes. Friendships change, marriages fall apart, we or someone we love becomes ill, people move away, we experience times of financial difficulty, and the list goes on. So often it seems we’ve finally got something down and feel like we’re in a good spot and then boom….something happens and it all changes. Our lives can be like an ocean. Sometimes (though not often) the vast sea of our lives is calm and quiet. Sometimes there are small smooth waves of changes that we are able to ride easily. Then there are times when the waves of changes are so big that we can’t even imagine standing amidst them. Some people thrive on this. Me, not so much.

I was encouraged by today’s entry in Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence:

“My face is shining upon you, beaming out Peace that transcends understanding. You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face-to-Face with Me, your Peace. As long as you focus on Me, you are safe. If you gave too long at the myriad problems around you, you will sink under the weight of your burdens. When you start to sink, simply call out, “Help me, Jesus!” and I will lift you up.

…….Fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. By the time those waves reach you, they will have shrunk to proportions of My design. I am always beside you, helping you face today’s waves. The future is a phantom, seeking to spook you. Laugh at the future! Stay close to Me.” (Based on Philippians 4:7, Matthew 14:30, Hebrews 12:2)

 Life is unpredictable,
It changes with the seasons,
Even your coldest winter,
Happens for the best of reasons,
And though it feels eternal,
Like all you’ll ever do is freeze,
I promise spring is coming,
And with it, brand new leaves.
-e.h

Only one thing in life is unchanging – our Solid Rock – the Lord. Dear God, when I feel swept up in the waves of change, help me to stay afloat and keep my eyes fixed on you – the target, the only One who truly matters, the only One who will always be with me. I trust that You will help me wade through these waves and carry me through to the other side when it’s time. When it’s YOUR time, not mine. And help me to keep perspective along the way.

21 Day Detox – Day 14

January 14,  2015

I went to the gym early this morning and then headed to our counseling appointment in the late morning followed by a trip to Costco. I wanted to get a few more cans of the San Marzano tomatoes that I used to make tomato sauce and salsa. The tomatoes are so much better than other canned tomatoes and I want to keep some on hand at all times. We picked up a few other produce items we are low on while we were there. We spent the rest of the afternoon at home and then I headed out to take a yoga class before dinner. I practice daily at home but don’t often get out to an actual class so I was really looking forward to it. I got home just in time to finish dinner and then Scott and the kids headed to Awana while I taught.

Tonight I made this healthier Kung Pao Chicken recipe for Scott and the kids (not me since I’m not eating chicken). I used rice vinegar instead of coconut vinegar (which I don’t have) and peanuts in place of the raw cashews because I ran out of cashews. The original recipe is Paleo so I made it non-Paleo by using peanuts. For me, I planned to save some of the sauce to saute with these Vegan Eggplant Meatballs (I used flax meal instead of breadcrumbs) that I had stored in the freezer earlier in the detox. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough sauce so I topped mine with a coconut milk based nut butter sauce that I have been using here and there. I’ll have to post that recipe and my edits another time. We ate the Kung Pao over a mix of brown rice and quinoa and added roasted cauliflower, broccoli, and brussels sprouts to complete the meal. I had a bed of greens on the very bottom too. Everyone loved the recipe!

This morning, our counselor discussed six different emotions we all have that if we were to personify, we could consider them different “friends” we know and hang out with. They are all different and ok “friends” to have but we like to spend time with some more than others and sometimes we don’t like spending time with a particular emotional “friend” at all. The emotions are joy, peace, and strength on the positive side and anger, fear and hurt on the negative side. I’ve been thinking about Joy since we left the appointment. All the positive emotions are challenging for me to feel (or allow myself to feel), but joy is particularly challenging. Yes, I feel happy as a result of certain circumstances or good things that happen around me. But living a truly joy-filled life that is joyous even in the midst of difficult circumstances or seemingly unanswered prayer is a struggle for me. This begs the questions: What is Biblical joy? What does true joy look like? I know it’s not based on any circumstance, happening or outcome. Psalm 33:20-22 says:

²⁰ We wait in hope for the Lord;
    he is our help and our shield.
²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
    for we trust in his holy name.
²² May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
    even as we put our hope in you.
Psalm 33:20-22

I also like Rick Warren’s definition of joy:
“Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.”

When we aren’t experiencing true joy we instead may feel a nagging feeling of frustration, sadness, discouragement, depression or emptiness. I know for me, I often feel a surge of happiness at something that goes my way, an accomplishment, a compliment, etc. But that happiness quickly fades and I’m left with a nagging feeling of emptiness. Then I feel bad/frustrated/confused about feeling empty and try to will myself out of the feeling. The key is that I’m trying to find joy on my own – without the Lord. We must not confuse happiness with joy. What I feel many times is situation based, earthly happiness and that is very different from true joy.

Today’s passage in Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence spoke directly to this:

“Let Me bless you with My grace and Peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My peace.

It is easy to touch up your outward appearance, to look as if you have it all together. Your attempts to look good can fool most people. But I see straight through you, into the depths of your being. There is no place for pretense in your relationship with Me. Rejoice in the relief of being fully understood. Talk with Me about your struggles and feelings of inadequacy. Little by little, I will transform your weaknesses into strengths. Remember that your relationship with Me is saturated in grace. Therefore, nothing that you do or don’t do can separate you from My Presence.” (Based on 1 Samuel 16:7 and Romans 8:38-39)

God knows and loves each of us through and through. He wants us to experience true JOY in Him. I believe we will never experience the joy He has planned for us unless we find it in Him. Anything else will leave us unsatisfied and looking for more. That looking elsewhere is a vicious and never-ending cycle that is not fun to be in. I know, I’ve been there and can still find myself there when my eyes and heart go off the target – the Lord.

May we seek and find the joy-filled life God has planned for us. Joyous living is not an easy thing but it is possible when it’s done with God.