Teaching Siblings to Love One Another and Saying No When It’s Hard

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

As a parent, there are so many lessons to be learned and so many lessons to teach our children. Staying the course and sticking to our “guns” can often feel like a daunting task. Parenting requires consistency and diligence that can be especially hard to maintain when we feel like the kids just aren’t getting it. I’ve felt particularly challenged in two specific areas this last week or so and found great blog posts that spoke to these areas that I wanted to share with you.

Our kids are 3.5 years apart and I thought the large gap in age might make it easier for them to get along but these two spend a lot of time fighting like cats and dogs. They have rare moments of love and peace (the pic below is evidence that these moments do happen on occasion), but it seems the majority of the time they are in conflict, yelling and fussing about something the other did/didn’t do or something the other took. It’s draining to go about an entire day in this type of environment.

I needed some encouragement the other night after putting the kids to bed and found this great blog post from I Take Joy about training kids to love one another (and love others). Since we are trying to be more consistent with Scripture memory, I figured a verse dealing with this area was a great place to start. The author of the article shared the following passage and I decided to use it as our first family verse:

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:11-12 (NIV)

She also shared this family “way” that we are adopting:

“We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness and respect.”

See the full post here. I am hoping and praying that the more we discuss and practice loving one another and treating each other with kindness and respect, the more moments of peace we will have around our house. I realize they are kids and will inevitably have conflict, but hopefully we will be able to deal with it in a more peaceful way.

The second difficult parenting task I wanted to talk about is that of having to say “no” when it’s hard and when the thing you are saying no to is not necessarily a bad thing. E is an avid reader and after signing up for the library’s summer reading club, he’s been wanting to read all the time so that he can complete the required reading time as soon as possible (he definitely has a competitive spirit!). Since he’s done with school, I haven’t minded him staying up a little later to read in his bed before he falls asleep. However, after two late nights of reading followed by two days with a tired boy who was finding it hard to listen and behave, I decided to curtail the late night reading. As expected, he was very upset about this decision and proceeded to cry hysterically for more than an hour in his room trying to get me to give in. He claimed I was being unfair and I never told him he wasn’t going to get to read. I was on my own that night and it was so hard to stick to my guns and not give in when I just wanted some peace and quiet and didn’t want him to keep his sister awake too. He came out two times with the notes pictured below trying to convince me to give in. While it was super sweet and I wanted to give in so bad just to make him happy, I knew in the long run the best decision was to stay the course and stick to my original “no” answer. I really dislike being called unfair, but I had to do what was right. I also reminded him of the last time this happened. That time I did give in because I thought it was so clever that he wrote me a note, but then he told me the next day that he cried and cried because he knew I’d give in. I couldn’t let this happen again. I found this blog post (again from I Take Joy) that brought me another dose of encouragement and confirmed I was doing the right thing in this moment even though it was hard.

Two of the many lessons to be learned as parents and children….. My prayer is that our family can continue to grow in these areas and hopefully this brought some encouragement to some of you who area experiencing these same challenges. May God bless you on this beautiful day!

Mixed Bag From the Last Few Days

We’ve had a busy weekend so far. The zoo and Family Fitness on Friday. Teaching, the Y 10 year anniversary celebration, a graduation party, dinner and playing outside yesterday. Church and a birthday party today.

Checking out the arctic foxes

The Y’s celebration was really fun for the kids yesterday as they got to play in bounce houses, get their faces painted (see pic below), play carnival games, sit in police vehicles, and get into an ambulance and fire truck. I volunteered for two hours and got fried standing out in the sun. One of these days I’ll learn to put sunscreen on myself. I was talking with one of the other volunteers while we were filling water balloons. He performs all kinds of roles at the Y including child care, teaching hip hop dance (which E took one time…he tried out chest popping!), teaching a HIIT class, swim instructor, and more. I also know he competes with two different dance teams. I’m always curious about what people do for their workouts and love to talk about it, so I asked him about his. He told me about all kinds of crazy things he does for workouts including trying to bear crawl for 1 mile straight!!! He stopped at 1/4 mile totally wiped out and hands hurting. I think I would have stopped much before then. Just hearing him explain it made my back and hands hurt. Later after lunch he led a HIIT demo and had a small group of guys and one girl do a 30 minute class. They did 15 burpees followed by bear crawling to the other end of the lawn, 14 burpees, bear crawling back the other direction, and so on down to 0 burpees. We watched the first few rounds (E even participated in the first 15 burpees and bear crawl) and several of them were toast after the second round. It was hot and the sun was beating down on them. We encouraged them as much as we could before we had to leave. I thought about joining in to try it out but I had a full stomach from lunch and figured that would come right back out if I did even one burpee! Anyway, I’m always admiring the different challenges people take on and the things they put themselves through to accomplish the challenge.

E and I started our June fitness challenges today – Body of Iron for me and Ironboy for him. I wanted to measure the distance around a path through the woods by our house so when I got up I got E out of bed and the two of us took a little bike ride before C and Scott awoke. Riding with him means I need to go a lot slower than I would on my own but it was fun and a great way to start the morning by spending time outside with him! We had a nice 3 mile ride enjoying the sun and stillness of the morning. I love taking in God’s creation while most everyone else is still sleeping.

The sermon at church today was the last in a series called Fan Into Flame. Today’s sermon focused on the role of parents in teaching their children about their faith and raising them to be lovers’ of Jesus (and that it needs to be done diligently!). I liked the following quote that was on the back of the sermon notes:

“Parents, Love God And Love People,

Teach Your Kids To Love God And Love People,

So That They Will Teach Their Kids To Love God And Love People.”

I feel like we could be much more diligent with our kids when it comes to being spiritual leaders – guiding them and teaching them about Jesus. Two ideas I took from the service are: incorporating Bible reading into our nightly book reading routine and memorizing Scripture as a family (maybe a verse a week). E does lots of Scripture memorization in Awana but the rest of us have a little work to do in this department.

Lastly, the kids are getting really excited about VBS this summer. They are attending VBS again at St. Luke’s here in Gahanna. They are doing Weird Animals – Where Jesus’ Love Is One-of-a-Kind. We’ve been listening to the CD a lot and the music is great. There is nothing like a good VBS CD here at our house (or in our car!). We love to blast it loud, sing, and dance. And I’m getting excited about co-hosting a summer women’s study called Divine Redeemer – A Journey Through the Book of Ruth in July. I posted a few times about this earlier in the year and am looking forward to taking the journey with some new and old friends very soon. If you are interested in joining us, please let me know!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

And The Little Diva Turns 3….Happy Birthday Miss Claire!

We enjoyed a great weekend with friends and family celebrating our little diva Claire (a.k.a C, Sissy and CC) and continued to celebrate today with it being her official birthday. Our lives were forever made more adventurous when Miss C entered this world. She has brought us much joy, laughter, stress and frustration all at the same time. We thank God for her and lean on Him every day for wisdom and guidance on how to raise her. We also thank the “village” of family and friends who have helped us along the way.

We started off the weekend with a new favorite family activity on Friday night – Family Fitness at the Gahanna Y. We’ve been going to the class for a few weeks and we all love it. The instructor, Rashad, makes it fun for all and also challenging for the adults. We start with an Insanity inspired warm-up and then move on to different stations around the room. The last two weeks have included the big chunky rope, punching bags, balance challenges, core work, small weights, and more. He ends the class with 5 minutes of intense core work that pushes you to your limit and beyond. It’s fun to be active with the kids and show them that working out can be fun. The highlight of of this week was when after about 30 seconds into the warm-ups C turned to me and said “I’m tired” and then sat out the rest of the warm-up. I’ll at least give her credit for listening to her body! The pic below is of the two of us doing her favorite quad stretch. She needs a little help to balance so this is how we make due.

I worked on things for her birthday party for several weeks doing bits and pieces of preparation when I could. I really enjoy party planning (I spent a few of my pre-kid years as an event planner) and it helps that I tend to have an obsessive personality when it comes to organization and details. I have found that the only way I can do things like making food for a party or a holiday is to work ahead and freeze what I can. This seems to help minimize last minute stress.

I originally had a hard time thinking of a theme for the party as C is not really into any particular character or thing. Then, while shopping at Meijer one day I saw a mini dome cake pan (looks like a cupcake pan but dome shaped cakes) on clearance and picked that up thinking I might be able to come up with something using the pan. I came home and jumped onto Pinterest to look for ideas of something to make with the pan and came across a dome shaped monkey head. This spurred the idea of a Curious George themed party. She loves Curious George books and is very similar to Curious George with her mischievous behavior so it seemed a perfect fit for her! There were so many adorable ideas on Pinterest for a Curious George themed party (as there are for really any theme). Given enough time and money one really could go crazy with the theme. I chose a few things to do and was really pleased with how they turned out. The pic below shows the banner (it said “Happy Birthday Curious Claire”), treat bags (there was one bag per family and each contained a Curious George book, a banana for each kid, and a tag that said “Thanks a bunch for swinging by”), cake (we got the sheet cake at Costco and then I made a larger monkey head and a yellow hat to put on top), cake balls, and mini monkey head cakes that I frosted with this great One-Minute Chocolate Frosting.

The birthday party was late Saturday afternoon at a nice local park. We were all praying for good weather since we’d had several days of rain leading up to the weekend. We had rain off and on before the party and a few sprinkles during the party but overall the weather was decent. We had a fun menu of walking tacos, veggies and dip, black bean and corn salsa, and plenty of sweets. In addition to playing at the park, the kids enjoyed a scavenger hunt (see 1st pic below), a Curious George story read by E (see 2nd pic below), and ring toss. This next pic is of the birthday girl trying to blow out her candles. She ended up needing a little assistance from mama. As we were singing, one of her little friends was yelling “Ms. Megan, there’s a bug on the cake!” That’s the risk you take having a birthday party outside. A few bugs here and there never hurt anyone 🙂

Here’s Miss C enjoying a second or third helping of dessert. I’m pretty sure she had only Fritos, Doritos, a few Capri Suns and cake the whole time. Oh well, it was her birthday. As expected, she had a huge post birthday meltdown before bed. Too much fun and junk food for this little one.

This next pic is unrelated to Claire’s birthday but I wanted to share it because these rice krispie treat cones turned out adorable. E’s birthday is in August so his class celebrated it on Monday. Since the weekend wasn’t already busy enough I decided to make something time consuming. He (and the rest of his class) loved them.

And here are a few extra pics of the birthday girl from the last few days. The second pic shows how I found her sleeping this morning. For some reason she likes to sleep under her (toddler sized) bed. Apparently she doesn’t have claustrophobia. The last two pics are of the kids flying kites before lunch today. It was the perfect day to get out and fly the kite C got for her birthday.

Here’s to another crazy, adventure filled year with Miss C!

Mother’s Day Surprises and A Great Song

Happy Mother’s Day! I hope all you moms are enjoying your day and letting others take care of YOU today. I feel extremely blessed and thankful for my own mom and the many women in my life who have been mother figures to me. I also thank God for the blessing of our two children and the role He has given me as a mother.  I wake up most days feeling ill equipped for this role but He gives me the strength and support I need! I certainly couldn’t do it without the support of Scott and my friends and family. It is true that it takes a village to raise children.

I treated myself to some extra time in bed today and slept until a very late for me 7:30 am!! Both kids were up before me and that never happens. I even got a little time snuggling with C in her (toddler) bed which, I sadly admit, has never happened in the morning. Then I came out to the kitchen to find a few surprises from Scott and the kids. They got me balloons, chocolates, flowers and made lots of homemade cards. (See pic below. The flower crafts with pictures are for the grandmas but we won’t see them until next weekend). We joke all the time how I don’t really like getting flowers because they are expensive and I usually prefer food gifts but Scott wanted to make sure he covered all the bases so he chose fake flowers from the Dollar Store 🙂 Ha! Everything was a surprise except for the balloons. We had to run to the Dollar Store after Es game yesterday and C said “mama, this is where we got you a balloon!” Apparently they were there earlier in the morning getting my surprises while I was teaching. So much for 2 year olds keeping secrets. E had also made me several adorable gifts at school over the last few weeks but he gave them to me on Friday. One of the gifts was a “coupon” pack with coupons for chores and other things he will do for me when I redeem them. I redeemed the “fold laundry” coupon right away on Friday but plan to use it again since the coupon doesn’t specify one time use only 🙂 I have to let go of any expectations when it comes to the kids folding laundry. While he folded the towels very nicely, instead of stacking them up he laid them out all around the room in a sort of obstacle course. I also treated myself to two drinks at Peet’s (used the BOGO offer they sent by email) that I’ll drink over the next few days (yes, I am cheap and even make coffee drinks last more than one day) and took a yoga class after church.

Lastly, I wanted to share these great lyrics from “One Heartbeat at a Time” by Steven Curtis Chapman. What a great reminder to every mom of the impact we are making even when we feel like our lives as moms are tedious and insignificant.

You’re up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don’t know
Or maybe you’ve forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch
And every smile

Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every, “I know you can do it”
And every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They’re just like the drops of rain, over time they become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch
And every smile

Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You’re beautiful, so beautiful
How you’re changing the world
How you’re changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch
And every smile

Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

Hey, you’re changing the world

 

Have a great day!

 

 

 

Easter 2014 and a Yummy Recipe for Leftover Hard Boiled Eggs

We had a nice Easter this year with just our family and Grandma. We did quite a few fun activities leading up to Easter Sunday that I wanted to share with you and at the end of this post is a great recipe to try for using up some of those hard boiled eggs!

For the last several years I’ve done Resurrection Eggs with the kids for the 12 days leading up to Easter Sunday. We made the eggs a few years ago and have been re-using them each year. You can see our egg carton in the bottom right of the pic below. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s a great way to reinforce the true meaning of Easter. This year I hid two eggs each day – one was the Resurrection egg with the symbol and message and the other had a small piece of candy in it for each kid. The kids loved looking for the eggs each day. This year E and I decided to mount the symbols and messages on a painted piece of cardboard instead of just putting them back in the eggs. E and I also put together a great Easter Lapbook (I downloaded the FREE Easter Lapbook). I find lapbooks to be a great teaching tool for a variety of subjects and you can make them as simple or fancy as you want. You can see the outside of ours in the bottom left side of the first pic and the inside of the book in the second pic.Claire and I made hard boiled eggs using this recipe for Perfect Hard Boiled Eggs. She’s been into wearing swim goggles around the house and apparently thought they were necessary for working with the eggs.  Of course we decorated our hard boiled eggs. Both kids participated, but I found this pic especially funny as Claire decided to spend most of the time painting her hand instead of the eggs. We’ve had the book In Elmo’s Easter Parade for several years and this year the kids were inspired by the book to create their own Easter bonnets. We hit up the dollar store for cheap hats and items to use for decorations. They had fun making them look silly and then wearing them around the house and outside.

After church on Sunday the kids did an egg hunt around our yard. They had a great time running around looking for the eggs daddy hid for them. It was the perfect day for an outdoor egg hunt.

We didn’t have the traditional ham for our Easter dinner since none of us really care too much for it (other than Grandma), so the kids chose pancakes and bacon instead. We don’t eat bacon very often but I got a pack of uncured bacon recently on Manager’s Special and tried out making it in the oven (see this recipe for Crispy Oven-Baked Bacon). The bacon turned out great and it was so much easier and created less mess than cooking it in the microwave or frying pan.

I’m sure many of you, like me, have some leftover hard boiled eggs you are looking to use up. Egg salad has never been a favorite of mine but Claire and I made a twist on the traditional with this Smashed Chickpea Guacamole Egg Salad and thought it turned out pretty good. Below are some pics of her at work. We liked the addition of chickpeas and using avocado instead of the traditional mayo. We also used some plain Greek yogurt in place of the “optional” mayo called for in the recipe. My little helper made me laugh when she said “WOW! Look at that seed” when we cut open the avocado and “I’m so proud” when she was chopping the avocado by herself with a knife (of course very carefully supervised).

I hope you all had a nice Easter too!

 

 

Free Downloadable Date Night Cards

We used to have a regular date night but got out of the routine shortly after our second was born. The last six months or so have been challenging in terms of schedule changes and additional demands on our time. Plus, with the kids around it seems to take all our effort just to get a few words in while they are awake or we need to wait until they are asleep (and when that time comes around I, at least, am exhausted!). So, we have once again realized again how important it is for us to prioritize time for just the two of us together. To start back into the date routine we are going to do a kid swap with a friend so that we can at least get out together every other week for a while. We’re hoping to not only spend time together talking but also get back to doing fun things together. These free downloadable date night cards from Serving Joyfully provide some great ideas to get started!

Take a breath, calm down, and do not yell….

I have this quote taped to my cupboard as a reminder to take my voice down a notch when I have the urge to yell at the kids. These past few weeks of mostly cold weather (and staying inside) have challenged me immensely in this area. It seems the kids get along for a short time and then they are just at each other. And I just want to scream!!! I’m sure many of you moms and dads out there can relate. Unfortunately I have succumbed a few too many times to my tendency to yell, but I have confidence that with continued focus I can get better at taking a few breaths, re-framing my mind, and being more positive with my choice of words, tone, and volume of voice. Note to self – these precious little children are not perfect and rarely do their actions actually warrant yelling. Situations can most often be handled in a much more positive way and they will probably listen better when I have myself under control.

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – Bridges

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

Bridges

“Was it not you who dried up the sea, the waters of the great deep, who made a road in the depths of the sea so that the redeemed might cross over?” – Isaiah 51:10

For as long as people have been separated they have been trying to bridge the gap.  To get connected.  To come together.  Bridges are everywhere, but so are walls.  Whether you build a bridge or a wall depends on your purpose.  Do we want to let others in or keep them out?

The motivations to build a wall are fear, anger, and disappointment.  The motivations to build a bridge are the desire for intimacy, to give and receive love, and to have a friend.  Walls keep us apart; bridges bring us together.

The most important bridge in marriage is communication.  Words are the slabs of stone in the stream that get us over to the other side.  Listening is the bridge that draws our spouse over to us.  Whatever obstacle we may have in our marriages, it is communication that spans the gap.  Let the redeemed cross over to one another.

A marriage without walls is a marriage with bridges.  Walls artificially keep us apart, but to build a bridge is a most natural thing to do.

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.

Advent 2013 – Keeping the Focus on Jesus

                

Last year we made an Advent calendar to help us keep our minds and hearts focused on Jesus in the month of December as we prepared for Christmas (It is a sad reality how easy it is to put Jesus – the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place – second to all the other things we think about and do during this season!). E had such a great time with it that we decided to do it again this year (including little sis this time, of course!). This year’s calendar was a bit more work but it turned out really cute. We made the tree using small paper cups glued to foam and each day’s cup is filled with a Scripture card, activity, and sometimes candy. There are tons of options and ideas for Advent calendars on Pinterest (and elsewhere). We are using many of the activity and Scripture cards from Faith-and-Home.

This morning the kids happily punched in today’s cup – December 1st. The scripture was Titus 2:13 – “Waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and the Savior Jesus Christ.”. And the activity for today was to have a special dessert. E and daddy picked up some yummy cupcakes at our favorite cupcake place!

Following an Advent calendar is a fun way to prepare for Christmas and a great way to involve the kids. The actual calendar itself can be simple or complex, homemade or store-bought. No matter what, it’s sure to be memorable and maybe even a new family tradition!

Guest Post: Marriage Insights – Let the Little Ones Go

Guest post by Scott LaCross from The Speiro Group

This marriage insight is adapted from “Devotions for Couples” by Patrick Morley.

Let the Little Ones Go

“A man’s wisdom give him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”   – Proverbs 19:11

In every marriage, each day produces many small offenses.  A great secret of successful marriage is learning to let the little ones go.  The more we judge every small infraction of our self-styled rules and regulations, the less room we will find for love and affection in our marriage.  We should laugh more and legislate less.

The above verse tells us that wisdom leads to patience.  To grow in our marriage we must grow in maturity and wisdom.  Each day we see and read of countless conflicts, most of which would never happen if people would let the little ones go.  Notice that the verse also says that “it is to his glory to overlook and offense” – the individual’s glory, not God’s glory.  This is a rare occasion when glory is ascribed to people.  That is how important this principle is to our Lord.

Focus on patiently loving and accepting your spouse for who they are and how God made them.  When the offenses happen throughout the day, look at them in context of the big picture, and let the little ones go.

May God bless your marriage this week!

Scott LaCross is the owner and founder of The Speiro Group, www.speirogroup.com, a Columbus, OH-based consulting firm that helps businesses, organizations, and individuals grow and develop.  Scott is also an Adjunct Professor at The Ohio State University in the Fisher School of Business.  Along with his business experience, Scott’s background includes working in full-time ministry and he is an active leader in his church.  He has a passion for challenging and equipping others and himself towards a purposeful and impactful life.